ANDREW PHiNEAS will be one of the major authors of this publisher
On April 2 his collection of gay love stories, Across A Crowded Room will be avilable for purchase. Today’s special offering “Gay Valentine” is a sample of his story telling style, special for the Holiday
In early 2026, we expect his non-ficgtion book of relationship advice for queer and straights alike will be available in time for next Valentine’s Day. The book will be a uniaue perspetive in hos are all romantic relaationships are honable and worth of study rather than focusing advice for one group or another
Finally, sometime in the next year, we hope to have finalized arrangements for his first book to be rereleased here in a Second Edition Growing Your Own Truth. which is the story of Andres’s reflections on coming aut process and search for love, which Barnes and Noble called, “as raw and direct as confessions to a therapist”
ALL THESE WORKS WILL BE AVAILBLE ON OUR RENOVATED SITE ONplease OR BEFORE THEIR STATED PUBLICATION DATE AS WELL AS POTENTIALLY WITH OTHER RETAILERS, WITH A SLIGHT DELAY.
Please stay tuned to the Growth Water Press Website for updates, more samples and discussion of these and other great books we will be publishing. or you may contact us directly at our email address: GrowthWater Press@yahoo.com Please inlude in your email a statement if you would like to be included in our e-mail distribution list. We’re always oppen to comments, questions, and suggestions.
–Peter Covington, Editor
Gay Valentine
by Andrew Phineas
James was excited! Since moving in with his boyfriend, Curtis, three months ago, life
was stupendous. Lfe previously had been good! James was proud that he had never
been some sad-sack glum boy since coming out, although he had seen reasons why
such a life is difficult, he had never succumbed to dispair. His relationship with
Curtis had been an excellent injection of joy in his life, which put him over the moon
They lived not far from campus and kept up busy schedules in what may be their last
year of college, but James felt that the relationship was everything he had imagined it
could be.
They had regular times together in the house or going out, lots of sex, and
best of all, there was someone to come home to every eveningand rest with in bed and on the sofa, who he had chosen to
be his family. They had actually chosen each other, but aside from a few awkward
miscommunications, they understood each other, and because of the the mix of being
“family,” best friends and lovers together, they had to ride a sea of competing
expectations, but their relationship progressed with with some clarification, tolerance,
and an occasional deep breath to invoke patience.
It was amazing how the heterosexual world around them pushed into their relationship with its myriad of
expectations and ideas of what “should” happen. They had celebrated Christmas
togather before going to their respective parents’ houses for the actual day, but their
private, one-evening celebration with few gifts and a funky little tree had been more
emotionally fulfilling than the gift and Christmas light overabundance at his parents’
home. In his own home, he felt like an adult while with his parents’ he was still cast him in the role as a child.
Curtis had met his parent’s once, briefly and they all had lunch
together, but James could feel that celebrations involving extended family would take
negotiation for sometime and he mentally postponed them for a future date.
But this was Valentine’s Day, the first for James and Curtis as a couple, and James
rejoiced that this holiday had clear boundaries. Parents were definitely NOT invited,
and he wouldn’t even be expected to call. He had sent his mother a token Valentine’s
Day card as he had when he was younger; this one, however, was store bought rather
than hand-made. And James expected it would be the end of the story. In his mind,
Valentine’s Day was a major holiday, with clear expectations as a couple to celebrate
love, and there would be love-making sometime that evening, at least once, But first,
there would be food and cocktails and decorations and as much extravagance as
James could afford. Curtis had agreed to dinner at home with no gifts for the
occasion. Cards were left as optional. He planned to buy some flowers while at the
grocery store, which would technically be “decoration” instead of a “gift,” and they were
just from the grocery store, so they would rank pretty low on the “gift” scale anyway.
James was feeling great and excited for a day to celebrate love with his boyfriend, and
quickly planned out his day to include leaving soon for the grocery store, to ensure
there were still flowers in decent shape. available.
James ran out to catch the bus that would take him to the grocery store. He could
make a long walk to get there, but the bus was faster. And he would rely on his skills
and system for getting lots of food home that he used to use when he had lived with other roommates, before he met Curtis. Curtis had a car that they usually used for shopping, but James had decided not to ask to use it because he wanted to maintain
the surprise of the homemade dinner and he also did not want to be told “no,” so he
considered this a nostalgia trip and ran out the door.
He felt somewhat in control taking the bus to the store, Previously he had always
walked from campus, but now he knew the schedule better and had enough money
that the bus was not a luxury.
James breezed through the grocery store with his backpack tucked into the bottom of
the shopping cart, which he would use to bring things home. He started in the produce
aisle since he and Curtis were trying to avoid fat, and he kept a running totals in his
head of both cost and weight as he shopped. He imagined how much of the bottom of
the cart would fit into his backpack as a third evaluation of his purchases. the
strawberries among the produce inspired him to his dessert decision that he would
make something like strawberry shortcake, since it was good, had less fat than
something chocolate and would be easy to make. He remembered they had no flour at
home so he would need carry home a heavy bag of flour or buy something premade.
He disliked both options but moved on to vegetables to sauté along with the chicken
or fish he would decide on later. he moved next past the refrigerated section, decided
on chicken, which was pretty easy to cook well, and moved on to dairy. He had to
have butter for sautéing, even if he wasn’t going to make shortcake from scratch, after
all, this was the era of Julia Child triumphant, who cooked everything in real butter.
Curtis was fine with margarine, but James let himself be a bit snobby in this regard and
didn’t even flinch when he picked up some spray whipped cream for the dessert. It
wasn’t real and would save them some fat calories, when compared to real cream.
Finally he came to the flowers, which he realized he had been dreading. He found a
pretty bunch for a less than exorbitant price and decided the selection was still good
because not many men did the shopping on Valentines Day
Almost everything fit in his backpack and within his budget. He bought nothing
canned for this special dinner and decided against buying flour since it would be too
heavy, but the strawberries and pound cake were a bit bulky and he had to carry a bag
home as well, also to accommodate the flowers.
He reached the apartment with all his treasures a little after noon. He now had six hours until he could expect Curtis to be
home. First, he double checked his alcohol supplies and let his frozen margarita mix
begin to thaw. He started cutting vegetables, then took a break to play with his impulse
purchase of a “Happy Valentines Day” banner. He got the tape and stapler and
scouted the best place where Curtis would see it immediately when he entered. Upon
return he noticed the flowers and began his search for something to serve as a vase.
They often had some kind of jar available for such a purpose, but Curtis must have
thrown the last one out when he last thoroughly cleaned the kitchen.
Curtis was anarchitecture student, was fairly neat and exact in many things. He kept his desk area
for drawing in perfect order. James looked there with some trepidation to search for
something to serve, and his eyes fell on the beer stein where Curtis kept his collection
of pencils and pens. James didn’t want to think of it as ‘getting in trouble’ for
borrowing something that belonged to Chris, but he didn’t want to be there either.There was a careful balance between them of being adults, respecting each other’sspace and things, filliwhile fulfillng personal and the couples’ needs. James decided the stein was
necessary and showed respect for Curtis’ things by placing he pencils and pens neatly
in a plastic bag from the kitchen, which he carefully wrapped round them and left them
very visible in their former location, while he took the stein for additional duty.
James rushed around a bit more, then decided to take a shower and get dressed for
the evening. He, shaved and cut the stray hairs around his face and prayed for just a
moment that he wouldn’t inherit the random “hairy-tage” of his father. He put on his
best cologne, sautéed vegetables in his underwear and mixed them with chicken,
potatoes and spices in a baking dish and got them in the oven fully two hours before
Curtis was likely to arrive. Then he turned to prep the strawberries. He cut up them into a
bowl, sprinkled sugar over them and had the idea to assemble ingredients as a mis-en place
to later make gravy out of the juices that would cook out of the chicken and
vegetables. James saw he had thirty minutes for final preparations, put on his clothes
and began to mix the margaritas. Curtis came through the door exactly 15 minutes
early, carrying his book bag over one shoulder and his large drawing Portfolio under his
other arm.
Hey, baby! Welcome home, called James, “Happy Valentines Day!”
I see that” Curtis responded
James had the cocktails ready just as Curtis approached his desk and unloaded his
portfolio pad and backpack. “Sorry, dear.” I’ve got a serious drawing to do tonight for
homework It will probably take me a couple hours. Will that mess up your plans too
much?
James approached him with a margarita extended in one hand and another for himself.
“we can drink these now and we’ll have dinner very soon.
“Oh, meeting me at the door with a cocktail. How very 1950s of you.”
Curtis shrugged and said. I guess I’m just an old-fashioned guy. Have you been lying
to me about your age? You don’t remember the 1950s, do you?
‘No, but you know what I mean, those old ads of perfect homelife and a perfect house.
Kind of like this apartment looks tonight. I feel like we’re in a heteronormative
throwback film. did you have a white picket fence installed somewhere while I was
gone?
“I wanted to do something special for tonight.” said James “I told you I was going to
make dinner,” James responded testily.
“It’s not my fault that I got assigned homework tonight, and the place does look nice.”
“Why don’t you start on your homework,” James suggested. I put your pencils and
pens in a bag,” He indicated the plastic bag at the top of the desk. We’ll have dinner
in about half an hour. I hope you can take some time off to eat with me.”
“Sure, of course.” there’s always time to eat, right?”
James turned and took his cocktail into the bedroom. The room had no door, James
thought disappointedly because he felt like slamming one. Instead he sat on the far
side of the bed where Curtis couldn’t see him, set his cocktail on the nightstand and
put his face in both handsHe felt stupid and wondered what he had been doing, playing happy home maker like
the little woman at home while his big macho husband had work to do. He had turned
his home into the Brady Bunch without kids, his man was even an architect. While
Carole Brady was never shown doing such a thing, he took a deep drink of his
margarita to chase away the image and thought, “I guess alcohol is one way to deal
with domesticity” Then he grumbled bitterly to himself “heteronormative, my ass!” and
clenched his fists as he lay down on the bed. He was determined not to cry and he
didn’t, but part of him certainly wanted to.
they stayed separate for awhile like they did on many nights when Curtis had a big
project to do. The apartment did not have much space to be separate and James
occasionally went out for coffee or something while Curtis worked. But tonight he
licked his wounds and slowly sipped his margarita making himself feel better with a few
macho poses in the mirror to remind himself that he was NOT “the little woman.”
Heconsoled himself, “I’m just having an emotional moment, right now. Just like I put a lot
of emotion and love into tonight. I’m not weaker because I made a nice moment for
us. That great moment just hasn’t arrived yet.”
“Curtis get’s emotional too. It’s just over Georgian architecture. and contrast-painted
Victortians. Heck. he nearly has an orgasm walking past the bayside Victorians every
time. There’s nothing wrong with that. Just so he’s not cheating on me with a
Chippendale. I love him and he loves me, sentiment and all. I am James, hear me
gush! So what style am I? “Jacobean” architecture, I think.
James checked his face and slid back into the living room. He saw that Curtis was
finished with his margarita, Went behind him, picked up his class, took it to the kitchen and firmly shut off
the voice that was laughing at him inside his head.
“It sure smells good!” Said Curtis, “What did you make?”
“It’s chicken with potatoes and vegetables. It’s a Julia Child recipe
Well thanks for all your work on this. It’s really wonderful and I’m sorry for what I said
earlier.” Did you have fun doing all this? I hope you didn’t feel obligated or anything.
James said,“I did enjoy it, and he took a deep breath to release tension,” but he knew
he wasn’t over the comment yet. “If you want some wine, can you get it and get me a
glass too? “ He walked into the kitchen to check on the meal, and he thought this was
turning into a scene from Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf” with him playing the Elizabeth
Taylor part and he was about to start screaming and crying. As he checked the food,
every thing seemed to be done just about right. He was glad he had prepped to make
the gravy and quickly stirred it together. He was determined he was not going to be like
his mother who often hid her feelings behind making food in the kitchen.
Curtis was behind him now, looking at the food like s hungry wolf. “I know you can
cook but I didn’t know you are THIS talented.” Curtis smiled and wrapped his arms
around James. “I love you. Can I call you Julia?”
James came close to exploding, “How heteronormative is that!?” he demanded, feeling
ferocious.
“I’m really sorry” said Curtis
“If you want to call me something as a great chef, you can call me “Julius”
“I’m really sorry, honey.” cringed Curtis.He kissed the back of James’ neck and
dropped his arms then trying to be funny, “I guess that makes me Romeo and you
Julius” That sounds like a good pairing.”
James appreciated the attempt at humor but wasn’t yet feeling it. He knew what
would get himself in a better mood. He turned quickly and went into the bedroom
“Hey, what about dinner,?” Curtis called. you want me to serve this?”
“No, just get the wine. I’ll bring the food in just a minute.”
“How about after dinner you fuck me hard and call me sissy names.” called Curtis
“That will make you feel better. What do you think?” Curtis moved to organize the
wine.
James peeked out of the bedroom entrance, and saw Curtis at the table with two wine
glasses and a bottle of white. “Talk about ‘heteronormative” James growled to himself
and came out of his pants. He called out, “Nobody has to be the leader of follower.
We’re just two men. James stood by the entry, ready for his impromptu moment, he
kicked his bare left leg around the door jamb, into the living room in the best form he
knew, concentrating, “heel-toe,” and then stepping with his right leg fully naked into
the living room, he turned slightly toward the kitchen and paused briefly to shake his
bare ass in the direction of Curtis
“Baby, Baby! shouted Curtis. “come over here I’ve got some wine ready for you, as he
began to pour a glass for James.
James slapped his own ass as he continued toward the stove.
“I’m getting the food for us, darling, but I’ll be right back,” James teased. He quickly
plated the food in two servings and strutted his catwalk back towards Curtis, food
in hands.
Curtis cheered again, and stood up seemed prepared to pounce. He waited until
James had set down the plates and ran around the end of the table and passionately
embraced James’ naked body. “Oh baby! You look great! The food looks great!
Come sit down. YOU are my man! I’ve got something for you.”
“I know you do” said James and grabbed the stiffening package in Curtis’s pants.
“oh, that’s for later. I mean something else” Curtis moved James’s wine to be by one
of the plates, sat down in front of the other plate and poured a glass for himself. He
patted James seat until James came around and sat there. Curtis lifted his glass of
wine in salute to James, “to my wonderful boyfriend.”
“Yes, to me!” James shouted, “ and to you, my man!” he completed the toast and
clinked his wine glass against Curtis’s
“This is for you” he slid an envelope in front of James. “and this seems like the perfect
moment. Please open it.”
James set down his glass, sat down in the chair, Curtis had indicated. He briefly jolted on the wooden chair. “Oh, this chair is awfully cold
to sit in naked,”and excitedly opened the envelope. It was a beautiful, but
fairly traditional card, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t get you a card!,”
“But you did so much else! Thank you! and I’m sorry I was being such a dick!
James read what Curtis had written inside, “I love you just the
way you are.”
“well here” said Curtis as he began to unbutton his shirt, “I’m feeling terribly
overdressed,” he quickly got his shirt off, signaled for James to stand and slid his shirt
onto the seat of the chair. “See if that’s a little better”
“Thank you.” You sexy dog! “ and he teased Curtis’ chest with his finger. Let me tell
you, though, Carole Brady is going to demostarate how to be a macho lesson after dinner.
“Who?” asked Curtis. Then he shook his head and smiled broadly. “Yeah, I get it, and
deserve it.” Both of them had grown up on reruns of the Brady Bunch, the supposedly
“perfect” family.
Curtis had already begun to dig into his dinner. “Oh, James! This is great! Thanks so
much!” He continued eating.
It’s kind of simple, but it’s good and fits our diet—well, mostly..Ok, our diet sautéed in
butter…..”
“ah, it’s Valentine’s day. Happy Valentine’s Day.! This is all so great. He looked down
the table and noticed the flowers for the first time. “Is that my beer stein”
“Yes,” James admitted, “ I couldn’t find anything else. Hope that’s ok…
“Oh my gosh!” Curtis said as he stood to inspect the stein. I think it has a crack in the
bottom. Is there water in this?” he carefully lifted the stein full of flowers. There was
indeed a bit of water on the table underneath and Curtis wiped it up with his napkin
and walked over to his desk to get a coaster, which he put under the stein. “I hope I
won’t break the ‘no presents rule’ if I buy us a vase AFTER Valentine’s Day.”
“that would be great,” James accepted. “Thanks for not being mad,”
“I have no right to be mad at you, my love,” gushed Curtis.
They both settled down to enjoy the meal and the wine and each other’s company,
occasionally staring at and fondling each other’s nakedness.
“Is there desert too?” Curtis asked.
“Yes,’ responded James. ‘It’s terribly hetero-normative, but I’ve got something for us
later. maybe even after you do your homework. But before any of that,” James ran his
finger down Curtis’ bare bicep, “I think we should work off the calories.
They smiled lecherously at each other and finished their meal.
Curtis seemed especially quiet and then he said. To quote the epic band, The Police…”
“Again!” interrupted James.
“Yes again and always.” responded Curtis, taking the jibe in stride, because he always
seemed to lyrics from the Police. “Giant steps are what you take (when) Walking
on the Moon. hope my legs don’t break, Walking on the Moon.” then he took a
breath, “This relationship is a strange new thing to both of us. This kind of relationship
is still something new in the whole world I think, and sometimes it feels like we’re doing
something really strange as we work out our relationship, like we’re ‘Walking on the
Moon.’ It’s no excuse but I’m sorry again I was such a jerk, but it’s hard when we’re
just making things up as we go along. I’d be glad if we could make that naked
catwalk a tradition every year…Can I really call you ‘Julius’?
“Yeah sure, if it has to do with food or fine dining. I like that kind of thing.
“And I’m very happy to encourage that kind of thing.”Curtis continued. This is strange
as we get used to each other and to being together, but let’s make it happen in our
own way, like the song continues.
‘We could walk together Walking on the Moon
We could walk forever Walking on the Moon’
That’s us, baby, and Curtis caressed James’s bare leg. I love you, and thanks for
making this work with us. That’s my goal too